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  • Writer's pictureLydia Mattern

How to Write Wedding Vows in 4 Steps: Template and Tips

Updated: Dec 6, 2021

How to write wedding vows

Writing personalized wedding vows is a beautiful way to share heartfelt promises with your partner… and in front of all of your family and friends. This is definitely a memorable experience, but writing your wedding vows can feel intimidating and overwhelming. How are you going to sum up all the love and hopes and dreams you have for your marriage in just a few short minutes? And how are you going to make it sound eloquent and sincere? Should you add a joke in there? Do you need to memorize them? Where do you even start?

First, take a breath. We are here to help you figure out how to write wedding vows that are unique, meaningful, and intimate.

Template for How to Write Wedding Vows

Write your wedding vows in four simple steps!

1: Share a meaningful statement about your partner and your relationship.

Start your vows by acknowledging who your partner is to you and what they mean to you. This is a simple and sweet way to open your wedding vows.

Example: “Kevin, you are my best friend, my most favorite person in the world. I am so grateful for the ski resort because that is where I met you. Who would have thought that a simple question––‘do you remember my name?’––would lead to me taking yours?”

2: Share what it is about your partner that makes you want to vow to forever.

Get personal. Whether you share a memorable moment, such as the time you met, or bring in some humor, your wedding guests will enjoy getting a glimpse into the intimate details of your relationship. This is a great time to add a little bit of “you” into the vows. It doesn’t all have to be serious.

Example: “These past five and a half years with you have been amazing, memorable, and challenging. You stayed by my side and loved me through some of the hardest times, and you always do whatever it takes to put a smile on my face. Whether it’s your silly dance moves and songs or cuddling me when I need it the most, your unconditional love for me is evident, and I am so grateful you are mine.”

3: Share your vows––let your partner know what you promise to them in this marriage.

Wedding vows are just that: vows––promises to your partner. What do you promise them? That you will be patient, listen, and treat them with love and respect? That you will always say “Yes!” to getting more dogs? Promises can be serious, sweet, and silly. Just be sure you have a good variation in your vows.

In your promises, share your intent with your partner. Whether you’ll “be there for them through the highs and lows,” or whether you “promise to have their back no matter what comes your way,” tell your partner how they can rely on you in this marriage.

Example: “This is the most important day of our lives, and as I stand here with you, I am vowing to forever. I promise to be the best wife I can be for you. I promise to forgive quickly and love you unconditionally. I promise to respect you, challenge you, and push you to be all you were created to be. I promise to pray for you and our marriage and to stand with you through the hard times and the best times.”

4: Share your hopes and dreams for the future.

Look to the future as a married couple. What will you accomplish? What will your life be like? What are you most looking forward to in marriage?

Example: “While you sure did make me wait a while for this day, I am grateful that standing here, I know without a doubt you are just as committed to this marriage as I am––you are just as committed to me as I am to you. I can’t wait to be your wife and to start the rest of our lives together forever. I love you.”

Tips for Writing Wedding Vows

Tips for Writing Wedding Vows

Start Now

It’s never too early to start writing your wedding vows. In fact, the more time you give yourself, the better your vows will be. Write down everything you can think of in a journal or safe place (remember, you don’t want your partner to see them before the wedding). Then, as more things come to mind in the weeks leading up to your wedding, add them to the list. Finally, go through and choose the most important parts you want to share out loud on your wedding day.

Set Wedding Vow Expectations with Your Partner

Rather than going into the wedding vow writing process without any guidelines, talk with your partner about the expectations for the vows. Together decide...

  • How long the wedding vows will be.

  • If the vows will be serious, lighthearted, or both.

  • Whether or not you stay traditional or add personal touches, like humor.

This way, one of you doesn’t come into the wedding with a heartfelt, four-paragraph-long letter, and the other shares a couple of jokes!

Keep Them Short and Sweet

There is so much to say to your partner, but it is best to keep your wedding vows short and sweet for the ceremony. This not only helps the ceremony move smoothly, but it also puts less pressure on you to read a long speech when you are standing at the altar.

If you want to share more thoughts with your partner, consider writing them a detailed letter to read before or after the ceremony. This way, you can share everything that is on your heart and mind, including more intimate details you just want your partner to know.

Acknowledge Friends and Family

It is a nice touch to mention the loving support of your friends and family in your vows. Your wedding guests all came to your wedding to support you and the marriage, so consider giving them a little shoutout.

Don’t Promise Perfection

While it might be tempting to promise to “always” be there for your partner and “never” snore, nobody is perfect. It is best to keep these words out of your vows and find other creative ways to express your dedication to the marriage and commitment to your partner. Nobody is perfect, so you don’t want to promise you will be.

Practice Your Vows

Wedding nerves are real. And while they may calm down a little by the time you have to read your vows, it can still be an intimidating moment. It’s best to practice reading your vows out loud multiple times before the wedding. And not just to yourself. Have your bridesmaids or a trusted friend listen so you get comfortable speaking in front of people.

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Write Them Down

It is ok to have your vows written down for the actual ceremony. Nobody expects you to memorize all of the heartfelt words you want to say to your partner, especially with everything else there is to do for the wedding. In fact, consider typing your vows for the wedding, so you have a fresh copy without any scratched out words or jumbled sentences. This will not only help you when reading them, but it will be nice to have if you want to frame your vows later.

For a more creative twist, write your vows on something unique or meaningful to you. At Epic Thyme, we had a couple each write their vows on their favorite vinyl record. After the wedding, they hung the records in their house as the perfect decor and reminder of the promises they made to each other on their wedding day.

What We Vow to You at Epic Thyme

wedding planner, wedding planning, wedding vows

The vows you share on your wedding day are some of the most important words you will ever speak in your life. Don’t let the stress of planning all the other aspects of your wedding take away from writing meaningful vows. At Epic Thyme, we promise to handle all wedding planning details, so you can focus on enjoying the most special moments leading up to and on your wedding day. Learn more about our wedding planning and design services today!

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